Marriage Musings: Delicate Speech

Marriage Musings

By Russi Wachtel

"We were given the gift of speech so that we could embrace others through words. 

Yet, many of us thoughtlessly push others away with the absence of verbal concern."

DELICATE SPEECH

Silly folks, say silly things, akin to the infamous quote “Sticks and stones may break your bones, but names will never hurt you.” The founder of such a saying must have had a midget mind or a deprived temporal lobe.
Words are far more powerful than people give credit – it is our speech that can harm or help build a relationship, especially a relationship between a husband and wife.

How many times have you said something to your husband that you regretted only moment’s later, wishing that you could reel your words back into your mouth in order to make a slight alteration?
For instance, by adding the word "please," before saying “pass me that.”

We are emotional beings that respond to one another on vibes that we receive through the others person’s gestures and speech. With just one word lacking, a sentence can be interpreted as demanding instead of suggesting. Even an understanding person can get turned off from another’s lack of verbal sensitivity.
We all have hard days, but that doesn’t give us the right to excuse our language. A husband and wife rely on each other for respect and support that is not guaranteed anywhere else, so it is to our life partner that we need to speak to most delicately.

In the general sense, speech plays a great roll in all relationships. A relationship between friends can be tarnished due to the lack of communication; sisters can carry resentment in response to verbal brush-offs; a mother and daughter relationship can be bruised by the lack of expressed love.

What we say, and how we say it, leaves a lasting impression on the person we are saying it too, even if it’s just playful name calling. I can still recall childhood disputes with siblings and friends that reverberate with foolish nicknames and personal attacks. I realize that my juvenile quibbles are minor, compared to those who are victims of real verbal abuse, yet it is my “insignificant” childhood quarrels that have helped stamp me with my perception of self.

We were given the gift of speech so that we could embrace others through words. Yet, many of us thoughtlessly push others away with the absence of verbal concern. With more attention focused on what we say, and how we express ourselves, our friendships will grow and our marriages will flourish.