We’re Still Maccabis: A Message of Hope After the Ceasefire

By Ayala Gordesky 

(Photo courtesy www.rmkhalo.com)

(Photo courtesy www.rmkhalo.com)

Ayala resides in Israel with her husband, gorgeous daughter and not so gorgeous Boston Terrier. Nestled in the beautiful hills of Jerusalem she is enjoying enjoying life as an Olah and her career as a Marketer/ Content Writer.  Ayala may be reached at ayala.gordesky@gmail.com. See her previous LADYMAMA articles here. 

We’re Still Maccabis

A Message of Hope After the Ceasefire

As the siren went off and the bombs exploded with our friends in the South living in a rocket rain of terror, there was one  constant thought in my mind.  After three thousand years of persecution and fear this was finally it. G-d had set up the chessboard.  With the State of Israel and Bibi as our PM we were perfectly aligned for the final redemption. This time things were going to be different. This Kislev we were going to annihilate the enemy. We were not going to be cowed by the world at large hating us indiscriminately. Then the ceasefire happened...

No matter how many times the news made mention of it or my family from America brought it up, I firmly believed it was not going to be happen. When it did it was like a blow straight to my heart. I’m not a crier but I actually wept. I could not focus on simple tasks I felt so let down and betrayed. It felt as if I were going back in time and perhaps these were not the days leading up to Moshiach after all. Perhaps my daughter was not going to know a brighter future where hatred for Jews and Israel was a thing of the past.

Now, a few days later, I’ve had time to reflect on those 8 days of battle. There were over 1,500 rockets sent our way with the full intention of killing civilians, there was a bus bombing and a group opening fire in the Gush. Examining these numbers, hundreds, if not thousands should have died. My own friends were fully exposed in a field while four rockets headed directly their way. Instead of death they got a fireworks display as the iron dome took the rockets out directly above them. There was a family in Rishon Lezion in their safe room. The building received a direct hit and collapsed around them completely yet their one room remained intact and no one was hurt. There are dozens of such stories. My husband told me today that never in his 29 years has he experienced the hand of G-d so directly as in these past two weeks. He didn’t even bother to stay hidden as we experienced open miracles that still take my breath away.

Aside from all that we have to examine what was accomplished. During the operation, Israel took down 1,500 terror sites, 30 top Hamas Jihadists, 140 smuggling tunnels and 26 weapons manufacturing facilities. Hamas spent years building these facilities and we took them down in just eight days.

Eight days has a special significance this month. One of my friends commented after the ceasefire that “Bibi is no Maccabi.” Looking back, I’m not sure I agree. Who knows what Hashem intends for us with Bibi as his conduit. Bibi has been openly and fearlessly fighting that battle for Israel since he was my age. Whether this ceasefire enacted by the Egyptian Prime Minister will create a much needed alliance with Egypt or whether it may result in major military backing by the U.S., we don’t know. What we do know is that like the Maccabis it was us against the world, accomplishing an astounding feat, all within the backdrop of open miracles. This story sounds familiar to me.

LUNCHES MAKE ME CRINGE: The search for healthier lunches on a budget

By Becky Brownstein 

Becky Brownstein is a  wife, mother of five, cleaning lady, chef, program/trip organizer, taxi driver, blogger and all around great gal that lives in Kingston, Pennsylvania. Visit her website at http://spitsgiggles.blogspot.com where she shares all her experiences as a mother with the motto, "When all else fails, laugh!" 

LUNCHES MAKE ME CRINGE: 
The search for healthier lunches on a budget
(+ 4 lunch ideas you should try!)

Lunches. Uch... Just the word alone makes me cringe. It’s the last chore of the night (on a good night) and it’s the hardest. Especially when the cupboards are running low. As soon as you start chucking cereal in a bag, you know it’s time to go to the store.

Last school year I made it my own “Mother-Mission” to make healthier lunches without going over my food budget. I also wanted to get rid of the guilt of spending money on baggies that just get tossed out without a second glance. When I keep to a budget, I have to keep everything in mind. With my budget in mind and with the idea of not over-using baggies, I set out to look for a reusable container that would make that possible.

I found these sectioned ziploc containers.

They held up for a few months so I had to replace them in the middle of the year plus, they leaked. A lot. I spent a lot of time saran wrapping the apple sauce inside one of the sections. But it still didn’t cost as much as an actual apple sauce to go cup. Plus, it was one container to clean and it was durable. But the con’s outweighed the pro’s, so this school year I set out to spend a little more money and get something better.

I found this Rubbermaid lunchblox kit.

That blue thing in the middle is an ice pack. They are durable, easily washable, sparkle when they are clean and look really cute. The kids like them better since they can grab one container to take out to recess.  A few of the con’s are It’s easier for the kids to lose lids or misplace them.

The lids also have potential to get yucky stuff trapped so you have to make sure to clean those out well. I also have so many little containers to wash. But it beats saran wrapping. I fill up a sink tub with hot soapy water and either me or the kids will chuck the containers inside.

I mainly use the Lunchblox kit for the fresh fruit and vegetables. I use smaller ziploc containers for the carb snacks. I have 1 box of sandwich baggies for the times I must use them (usually for half a cucumber or tomato), or the times my kids ask for extra snacks, but other than those few times, I don’t use them.

When making lunches I try to think of healthy foods that I know my kids will like, not what I hope they’ll like. I usually ask them “will you guys eat green beans if they were in your lunch?” Either they will answer excitedly or look at me like I was insane and yell “no way!” I also try to keep things the same for everyone. If I know all the kids will eat grapes, I’ll put grapes. But if two kids don’t like bananas, I won’t put bananas at all. But if it’s only one kid who has an aversion to that specific food I’ll make an exception. If I had to make different things for everyone, it would make things really hard for me. Plus, there is a greater chance for mess ups.

One time my daughter came home with two full containers of applesauce and said to me “I don’t even like applesauce!” Shortly after, my husband came home and said “I would like to speak with your quality control department please.” He came home with one full container of grapes. He ate the other. So yeah, mess ups happen. Especially because it’s the last chore of the night. Don’t judge!

Now the fun part!

LUNCH #1

For the main dish I made flat bread (easiest and quickest to make when I didn’t have a chance to get bread) with a small cup of jelly for dipping. Next to that is homemade granola that the kids LOVED. Then it’s cut up baby carrots, applesauce and cut up watermelon.


LUNCH #2

The main dish is tomato, cucumber and lettuce sandwich with a a little bit of mayo. The sides are dried fruit and nuts, pickles, deviled eggs, pretzels and a clementine or half an apple.

LUNCH #3

The main dish is a pizza pocket. (I take frozen dinner rolls out while I make dinner and let them defrost/rise until I am ready to make lunches. I then shape them into round circles, add sauce, cheese and mushrooms or olives and bake.) The sides are edamame beans, applesauce, grapes and corn chips.


Lunch #4 

The main dish is a cream cheese sandwich. Not that exciting but the kids could eat those every day. The sides are sugar snap peas, cantaloupe (one is kiwi since my oldest hates cantaloupe) dried fruit and nuts and homemade date bars. (It was my first attempt at these whole wheat bars and I had to agree with my kids that they sucked. I will not be making those again.)

These are just a few examples. I juggle things around, switch around the vegetable options and try to pick things my kids will like. I am not a dietician or a crazy health nut. I just know my kids and know their reaction to overloads of sugar. They crash. Big time! Plus, if I give them sweets as snacks, they are hungry not even an hour later and come home with crazy stomach pains. I used to send them with store bought granola bars but they didn’t feel well after. 

After starting to make lunches like these, my kids have been coming home with empty containers and started requesting healthy snacks first when they are home without even realizing it. Because of that I don’t buy a lot of the snacks I used to. It’s a lot healthier and makes them a lot happier. Sugar treats have become just that, treats.

BabyDiner to the rescue!

www.babydiner.net

Quote of the Day: Ignoring a baby's cry

What do YOU think of today's quote? 

“Ignoring a baby's cry is like using earplugs to stop the distressing noise of a smoke detector. The sound of a smoke detector is meant to alert us to a serious matter that requires a response - and so is the cry of a baby.” - Jan Hunt

An Angry Mom, the Heroic Flight Attendant

Last week, while one flight attendant was getting all the attention for his dramatic "not going to take this anymore" antics, a real in-flight hero went virtually ignored. Aboard a Southwest Airlines flight from Dallas to Albuquerque, flight attendant Beverly Kay McCurley witnessed an agitated mother strike her crying thirteen-month-old baby on the face with an open hand. In an attempt to help the mother - and bring calm to an escalating situation that was disturbing other passengers - Beverly intervened by taking the baby and calming her, also enabling the father to leave his seat to comfort his child at the back of the plane. 

But Beverly cared more than simply for her passengers comfort; she could not rest after what she saw. She reported the mother's behavior to the head-crew, who arranged for law enforcement to meet the family when they landed. After a welfare check - during which police inquired about the baby's black eye which the parents pinned on a dog bite - the parents were allowed to go. The mother defended her actions, saying she "popped" her because "that's the only way I can get her to stop." As if it gave her all the freedom in the world, she added, "She’s my daughter." 

Shockingly, Beverly's actions spurred a debate about whether it was right to interfere in another mother's parenting. Shocking, because, quite simply, no one actually believes that hitting a baby - not a child, a baby - is an actual parenting method. Experts on both sides of the corporal punishment debate believe that it's wrong to hit a child that young. Most parents hear this story and think, "That’s awful." And yet, oddly, most parents would refrain from getting involved. 

But why? Where is the room for debate over Beverly's involvement? How can it possibly be argued that she should have let the mother continue "popping" her tired and upset baby? Mind your own business...at whose expense? 

I would posit that most parents are uncomfortable with the idea that our individual parenting can be subject to a stranger's scrutiny. So when it comes to other parents choices, we choose our involvement carefully. But is all this so-called sensitivity always appropriate? While some may be unwilling to accept interference over normative methods of parenting to which there are valid and healthy takes on both sides, no mother should be so confident to think that passersby will accept her out-of-control moments that may endanger her young. 

In my eyes, the world of motherhood can use a few more Beverlys. She didn't heed the voices saying "don't get involved." In stark contrast to our "to each his own" society, she jumped right in where she new she was needed. 

Every mother can be this kind of hero. Instead of turning your head out of embarrassment for a struggling and agitated mother, kindly offer your help. It will go a long way for a burdened parent, much further than our silent stares and teeming judgment. If more parents looked out for each other and stepped in when it was absolutely necessary, maybe there wouldn't be so many mothers who feel comfortable slapping their kids in the line at Target or dragging their two year olds by the ear to get them to leave the park. 

Thank you Beverly for reminding us that we are all each other's keepers. To the out of control mother who said, "She’s my daughter," you answered, "Yes, but right now she's my responsibility." Because of your heroism, there is one mother who has a lot to think about while vacationing in New Mexico. 

Becky's Bottom Line: Disaster Zone B

Becky's Bottom Line

By Becky Brownstien

DISASTER ZONE B

I have a rare condition. Yes, it was self diagnosed. My condition is, if I don’t see it, it doesn’t exist. I’m not talking about faith or religious thoughts or anything like that. I’m talking about messes. Huge, ginormous, larger than life disaster areas that make you stop breathing if you think about the act of cleaning it. Like, the basement/playroom, otherwise known as disaster zone B. (Disaster zone A is another post altogether)

In an act to regain control of the playroom, I did a major makeover in the basement. I painted, bought really cute shelving, made a chalkboard on the wall with a really cute boarder, organized the books and toys. I made it adorable!

The kids were so excited about it.

Becky's Bottom Line: Acculturation and Assimilation

Becky's Bottom Line

By Becky Brownstein 

ACCULTURATION AND ASSIMILATION

While my kids are young and are still trying to listen to and explore their surroundings, it often makes me think about the times long ago when explorers were still discovering the world. These explorers docked their boats on foreign land to discover. They didn’t know what it was they were discovering, but they wanted to discover. Y’know, totally cool with me since I am no historian and doodled my way through history class. I am going to assume that they hopped off their boats and started learning new things to bring back to their own lands. I assume this from the fact that we all have popcorn thanks to the Native Americans and tea from Boston. Also from the phrase “when in Rome do as the Romans.” It had to come from somewhere.

Now that some of my kids have gotten a little older, watching the younger ones grow and adapt to their surroundings is quite entertaining. I’ll explain.

More Men See Marriage, Family as the 'Ultimate Male Status Symbol'

By Elissa Strauss

Well it looks like the emasculated husbands who appear in the bulk of beer and car ads aren’t too representative of the typical American male. Men, it turns out, actually like being married and having a family.

Continue reading:

More Men See Marriage, Family as the 'Ultimate Male Status Symbol' – The Sisterhood – Forward.com

Drowning looks different than you think

Think drowning involves screaming, gasping, and flailing? Think it’s easy to notice someone drowning? Well, you’re wrong.

What every parent must know about drowning:

Drowning looks different than you think - Parenting on Shine

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Lessons Of A Smoking Toddler

Lessons From A Smoking Toddler

By Mimi Hecht

In his tiny hut in a town in Indonesia, Ardi Rizal has become somewhat of a tourist attraction. People watch him and snap pictures, excited to get a glimpse of a two-year-old who has taken up a rather adult habit; his obese toddler body sits aboard a red toy truck as he smokes cigarettes, one after the other. 

When a video of cigarette-addicted Ardi surfaced on YouTube over a week ago, it sparked horrified reactions all over the globe. Health officials are criticizing Indonesia’s tobacco problem (they’re one of the few countries that allow widespread cigarette advertising) while parent-bloggers curse Ardi’s parents for their inability to control their child. To say the least, Ardi’s bad baby habit has us all…well, fuming.   

But with an endless wave of reactions on every front, it seems the real caution inherent in Ardi’s tale has been covered in ash. Responses of horror and condemnation are warranted, but what is this chubby Indonesian toddler really teaching us? 

It’s not surprising to learn that little Ardi’s father is a heavy smoker. After all, the kid had to pick up a cigarette somewhere. How, then, is the world so aghast at this baby's adoption of a bad habit when he was exposed to it every single day? Could it be that the world believes that, because our babies can't walk or speak, they are somehow blind to our actions? 

The public is enamored by videos of Ardi’s smoking because he is a baby acting like an adult. But in Ardi’s defense, he couldn’t be acting more like a baby! After all, what is a baby if not a little vulnerable sponge, soaking up our every mood, word and – more obviously – action?

When our six-month-old copies something we do, we gawk. Clapping hands. Waving goodbye. Watching and learning is primary; parents are their only model of what it means to be a human. They’re developing brains are never going to be as reliant on our actions as they are in their infant and toddler years. We may not see it right away, but they eventually become what they have watched and heard ever since they were born. There’s no hiding. Like father, like son.

And yet, when our young assume so-called “adult habits,” we are astonished. “Did he just say the F-word?!” cry foul-mouthed parents. Or what about the popular video of the toddler dancing to Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” in a diaper?  It may seem cute now, but when she turns four and starts dressing skimpy and actually mimicking the inappropriate dance moves, she’ll be on YouTube again. We’ll all be horrified – and somehow surprised.

Perhaps Ardi’s father thought he would stop smoking when his son was “old enough” to be impressionable. Perhaps he doesn’t realize – just like the rest of us often don’t – that “old enough” is actually a very young age.

Every parent needs to realize that our every action – both good deeds and bad habits – get collected by our young…by our very young. And it’s normal. This is what babies do. They don’t become susceptible overnight, but over time. There is not going to be a magical day in which your child alerts you by saying “Mom, Dad, I’m watching now!” So even though our newborns seem like out-of-touch blobs, they’re going to start picking up our shtick sooner than we think. We need to ditch our bad habits and realize that our responsibility to be positive role models starts before they can say, “Mama.” Sure, it’s easier said than done. That’s why if you’re child is still in utero - or even but a thought in G-d’s mind - there’s never been a better time to change.

Although smoking Ardi is an extreme example, he nevertheless makes the point. Through the national exposure his puffing has earned, perhaps the adult world will learn something about the impressions we make on our young. Thank you, little addicted Ardi. While you sit in Indonesia chain smoking, the world is getting a harsh lesson in parenting. Perhaps in that way, your blackening lungs won’t be entirely in vain.  

LadyMama Column: My Blackberry Baby

http://www.algemeiner.com/generic.asp?ID=6280

How many parents can say they successfully captured their child’s very first smile on camera? How many mothers wish they would have had their camera within reach when their child looked them in their eyes and revealed that first toothless grin?

I never had to make that wish or feel such regret. Thanks to an inseparable relationship with my Blackberry – a multimedia amusement park also known as a smartphone - I will forever have a picture of my son’s very first shining smile. As with every other attempt to capture the perfect shot, I was holding up my Blackberry camera and making funny sounds to get his attention when he broke out in his first charming smile. I went mad with joy and immediately sent the photo to my husband.

That first smile was exactly the cliché I was told it would be – a slice of heaven. It was big and bright, with a twinkle in his eye, and gave me warm-fuzzies all over.

I have only one regret. I saw it through a screen.

I fell victim to the Blackberry craze just one month after I gave birth (a labor present of sorts). I immediately felt the joy in having a gadget that would allow me to capture pictures, videos and voice notes and instantly share them. My parents live on the West Coast and I wouldn’t tolerate them missing even one moment of their first grandchild’s life.

Month’s later and a tour through my Blackberry photo and video library showcases a unique collection of original works. “Morning Poop Kisses,” “Nakey Hug” “Sleeping with One Eye Open,” and “Sneeze Cough Smile” are actual titles of just a few of the hundreds of snapshots and clips to forever remember my baby’s many moments. With his every move (poops, laughs and even sneezes) recorded on my little device, there’s practically nothing left to witness! But thankfully, he is ever-changing and always entering unknown territory, leaving endless opportunities to record more original masterpieces. And when I do, it takes two seconds to – directly from my phone – e-mail the family, upload to Facebook, Twitter and my blog.

There’s no other way to put it. Thanks to my Blackberry, I have become my child’s own paparazzi. My right hand is always ready – like a cowboy and his holster – to record every share-worthy baby minute (Did you know that the stroller cup-holder fits a Blackberry perfectly?). But while many people complain of “Blackberry Thumb” – a sprain-like sensation from typing too much on their handheld – my problem is worse. And if things don’t change soon, I threaten the wellbeing of my family.

Admittedly, I often feel like I am observing my son through a screen - my Blackberry Baby. And the moments don’t seem to be as valuable as they once were. When I flip through my mobile photos to show a friend, it’s like nothing is precious. Oh, that picture? Eh, I have better. Ya, he’s smiling in that one…but look at this one! I wonder, if I accidentally pressed something and deleted all the files that are slowing down my phone…what would I have left? Do all my child’s adorable moments exist as strongly in my mind as they do on my Blackberry?

The benefit of having a media-miracle to aid in sharing my son’s life is obvious. Thanks to my Blackberry, my parents feel like they’re with me every step of the way. Recently, when I sent my mother a picture of the baby finally attempting to crawl, I got an immediate reply text: “Put socks on him! It’s cold!”

But with the advantages of being able to share every second comes the risk of watching my son’s life hurriedly pass on a screen. What would have happened had I not viewed my son’s first smile through a screen and quickly e-mailed it to every one? I probably would have saturated in the magical moment, let it linger just a little longer. It would have always been a distinctive event in both our lives. But instead, it’s only a picture. Yes, only a picture. It may be worth a thousand words, but it can never take the place of the indispensable mother and child moment I missed.

The other day, about fifteen minutes after putting my exhausted son down for a nap, I was typing on my computer when I heard him giggling uncontrollably. Before I went to his room, I quickly tried to locate my Blackberry so I could video him laughing. I then realized that the adorable giggling was, in fact, my ringtone. I forgot that, earlier in the day, I had recorded his giggles and set it as my default ringer. Wow, I thought to myself, I am completely hopeless.

As hard as it will be to reverse six months of constantly stalking my child with my Blackberry, I am ready to change. I have missed too many moments trying not to miss them. I can’t record my toddler’s every move if it carries the risk of distancing me from the involvement so necessary to his development, and our vital bond. To every mother who feels she might be raising a Blackberry Baby, my advice is simple: Put down your Blackberry. You don’t want to miss a thing.

Quirky Discipline Rules

[Is it time to try something else?]

Read this article about a mother's inventive discipline rules that worked!

Have you resorted to out-of-the-box self-made discipline rules for your kids? Were they successful? Share them with other moms! Tell us your "quirky discipline rules" and how they worked! Send submissions of any length to blog@ladymama.org.