Are You Dating? [From February 2007!]

Me and my husband, ten days before our wedding :) 

As I come upon my third year anniversary, I can't help but share this piece I wrote five years ago, when I was twenty years old. It's sort of about being on the Jewish "dating scene" but much more about my desire to truly find my soulmate, without all the "shtick." Perhaps all my single ladies will relate to what I was experiencing at the time!

You can find the original with the comments here.

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Are You Dating?

The question makes me feel awkward right away.

I hear it.

I pause.

I smile uneasily.

I stumble on my words.

I basically look totally confused.

My answer completely dodges the inquirer's real question.

I always just end up saying, “Yea, I want to get married.”

I just can’t give a yes to the dating inquiry.

Listen.

The last thing I want to do is date.

Ever.

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When someone hears I’m 20, their response is immediate.

“So, are you dating?”

Just hearing the word “dating” sends me into complete bewilderment.

I am completely baffled, actually.

Dating?

Did someone just ask me if I am dating?

Is dating something people actually do?

It’s like they know about this trendy thing that all the Jewish youth are getting into.

But, really…

Since when do Jews date?

Who invented such a thing?

I guarantee you, it wasn’t a Jew.

Why?

Because Jews don’t care about dating.

We care about finding our soul mates.

Dating just doesn’t exist in our world.

Whenever someone gets engaged, you always hear those people who say, “Wow, I had no idea that they were dating.”

Well, this is exactly why.

It’s because they weren’t dating.

And because they weren’t dating...they got engaged.

People who date don’t get married. They get to tour some nice hotel lobbies and drink water from fancy bottles. They sharpen their dining etiquette. They may even get to cruise in a nice rental car.

People who date meet people. Boy meets girl. Girl meets boy.

But I’m not interested in meeting a boy.

You have come up to me and said, “Mimi, there’s a great guy I want you to go out with.”

But, come on.

You know I don’t “go out” with guys.

Instead of offering someone you want me to date, why don’t you offer someone you want me to marry?

Just say, “Mimi, I have someone you may want to marry.”

Nothings wrong with that.

That’s how Jews talk.

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Last night, someone said to me, “You’re 20?”

“Prime age. You should find your husband very soon.”

Now you’re talking.

Yes, I am looking for my husband.

Not a guy.

Not a boy.

And most definitely not...a date.

Why Can't You Date Me?

Anonymous Contribution

You want to use my "story" as an inspirational topic to a group of 

students (how touching), but if I come up as a suggestion for your 

cousin, or your best friends brother, I'm suddenly not as interesting.

Why don't people want to date converts?

I've been dating for almost six years (since my conversion date). Though I've dated guys from born-and-raised-religious, I'm often confronted with situations where a guy is suggested to me only to find out he won't date me because of my convert status. I'm becoming quite accustomed to hearing "Oh, she's a convert? I'm gonna have to pass," or even the "He's busy right now, don't call me, I'll call you if anything changes." This always comes without even a mere inquiry or a glance at my Facebook profile.