Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Monday, March 1, 2010
LadyMama Column: My Blackberry Baby
http://www.algemeiner.com/generic.asp?ID=6280
How many parents can say they successfully captured their child’s very first smile on camera? How many mothers wish they would have had their camera within reach when their child looked them in their eyes and revealed that first toothless grin?
I never had to make that wish or feel such regret. Thanks to an inseparable relationship with my Blackberry – a multimedia amusement park also known as a smartphone - I will forever have a picture of my son’s very first shining smile. As with every other attempt to capture the perfect shot, I was holding up my Blackberry camera and making funny sounds to get his attention when he broke out in his first charming smile. I went mad with joy and immediately sent the photo to my husband.
That first smile was exactly the cliché I was told it would be – a slice of heaven. It was big and bright, with a twinkle in his eye, and gave me warm-fuzzies all over.
I have only one regret. I saw it through a screen.
I fell victim to the Blackberry craze just one month after I gave birth (a labor present of sorts). I immediately felt the joy in having a gadget that would allow me to capture pictures, videos and voice notes and instantly share them. My parents live on the West Coast and I wouldn’t tolerate them missing even one moment of their first grandchild’s life.
Month’s later and a tour through my Blackberry photo and video library showcases a unique collection of original works. “Morning Poop Kisses,” “Nakey Hug” “Sleeping with One Eye Open,” and “Sneeze Cough Smile” are actual titles of just a few of the hundreds of snapshots and clips to forever remember my baby’s many moments. With his every move (poops, laughs and even sneezes) recorded on my little device, there’s practically nothing left to witness! But thankfully, he is ever-changing and always entering unknown territory, leaving endless opportunities to record more original masterpieces. And when I do, it takes two seconds to – directly from my phone – e-mail the family, upload to Facebook, Twitter and my blog.
There’s no other way to put it. Thanks to my Blackberry, I have become my child’s own paparazzi. My right hand is always ready – like a cowboy and his holster – to record every share-worthy baby minute (Did you know that the stroller cup-holder fits a Blackberry perfectly?). But while many people complain of “Blackberry Thumb” – a sprain-like sensation from typing too much on their handheld – my problem is worse. And if things don’t change soon, I threaten the wellbeing of my family.
Admittedly, I often feel like I am observing my son through a screen - my Blackberry Baby. And the moments don’t seem to be as valuable as they once were. When I flip through my mobile photos to show a friend, it’s like nothing is precious. Oh, that picture? Eh, I have better. Ya, he’s smiling in that one…but look at this one! I wonder, if I accidentally pressed something and deleted all the files that are slowing down my phone…what would I have left? Do all my child’s adorable moments exist as strongly in my mind as they do on my Blackberry?
The benefit of having a media-miracle to aid in sharing my son’s life is obvious. Thanks to my Blackberry, my parents feel like they’re with me every step of the way. Recently, when I sent my mother a picture of the baby finally attempting to crawl, I got an immediate reply text: “Put socks on him! It’s cold!”
But with the advantages of being able to share every second comes the risk of watching my son’s life hurriedly pass on a screen. What would have happened had I not viewed my son’s first smile through a screen and quickly e-mailed it to every one? I probably would have saturated in the magical moment, let it linger just a little longer. It would have always been a distinctive event in both our lives. But instead, it’s only a picture. Yes, only a picture. It may be worth a thousand words, but it can never take the place of the indispensable mother and child moment I missed.
The other day, about fifteen minutes after putting my exhausted son down for a nap, I was typing on my computer when I heard him giggling uncontrollably. Before I went to his room, I quickly tried to locate my Blackberry so I could video him laughing. I then realized that the adorable giggling was, in fact, my ringtone. I forgot that, earlier in the day, I had recorded his giggles and set it as my default ringer. Wow, I thought to myself, I am completely hopeless.
As hard as it will be to reverse six months of constantly stalking my child with my Blackberry, I am ready to change. I have missed too many moments trying not to miss them. I can’t record my toddler’s every move if it carries the risk of distancing me from the involvement so necessary to his development, and our vital bond. To every mother who feels she might be raising a Blackberry Baby, my advice is simple: Put down your Blackberry. You don’t want to miss a thing.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
LadyMama Column: Head over Heels
http://www.algemeiner.com/generic.asp?id=6258
Suri Cruise, the three-year-old daughter of celebrities Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise, has been attracting media attention ever since spotted wearing high heels during casual outings with her mother. While shoe lines carrying all styles of heels and platforms for little girls have sprouted up over the past few years, there’s nothing like a celebrity to push a fad over the edge. Fashion-forward mothers are now scrambling for the perfect heels for their tiny tots, considering them a welcome addition to their daughters’ “cute” and “girly” wardrobe.
But many parents are divided as to whether the added inches are appropriate for their little ones, complaining that heels should be strictly "mommies only." The concern: that heels are forcing our already-quick-to-age children to follow trends and play a part that is years – no, centuries – beyond their age.
But what is so age-inappropriate about little girls wearing heels? Why has Suri’s wardrobe decision incited such controversy? What really irks parents who find the style out of line?
A lot is lost when we force kids to be ultra-conscious of the way they use exteriors to communicate their gender. Being calculated in their dress and mannerisms is something young kids are definably not about, and for good reason. The less they are concerned with their image, the more unbridled their expression will be, ensuring they have the self confidence to better tackle a peer-pressure world that is already making too many decisions for them. For little girls in particular, something as seemingly insignificant as a pair of heels can make all the difference.
Any honest woman knows the power of a good pair of Louboutins. By nature, heels are a tool for getting noticed and communicating womanliness. A successful heel will elongate and slim our appearance and force an altered stance that accentuates our womanliness. The added height puts us on a pedestal that promotes our feelings of confidence and power. A woman slips on her heels and is immediately highlighting all the right features and loudly pronouncing her femaleness. In her song “High Heels,” singer Keri Hilson says it best: “I hate high heels/love how they look/hate how they feel… Starting to think I shouldn't have worn these shoes/What's the price we pay/For looking this way.”
This is exactly the reason little girls get a kick out of trying on mommy’s heels, and not her sneakers or slippers. They inspire a uniquely feminine persona that does not fit in any other shoe. Little girls know that mommy wears heels when she wants to look extra pretty. They know that mommy walks a little differently with those added inches. They know that, in her heels, mommy is more womanly. When they play dress-up and gallivant around the house in mommy’s pointy-toed pumps, they are mimicking their mother’s character when she wears heels – a character they intrinsically know they must grow into. Mommy’s little girl understands she can’t wear heels simply by virtue of being born a female. Rather, it’s a right to be earned.
In other words, our daughters’ feminine self is a work in progress. So what happens when a young girl who is still developing and defining her girlhood starts to wear the confidence and womanliness of heels? We can label it “cute” and “girly” – but at what expense? How does a young girl defining herself understand that wearing heels is feminine, but doesn’t make you feminine?
Today, even the youngest minds are impressed with American culture’s idea of what makes a woman, leaving little room for young girls to build their own identity. Mothers who feel they are nurturing their daughter by allowing them to be “just like mommy” should put their heads over heels. By entitling our little girls to womanly privileges, we’re meddling in the vital process they need to nurture their girlhood and naturally segue into womanhood. Until our daughters actually have true self-awareness and femininity within, let’s keep heels in the dress-up box and encourage what has been truly “girly” until now – unabashed expression, charming innocence….and a good pair of Mary Janes.
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