Tuesday, October 18, 2011

[3] Momming with Mimi: My Friend Escape

[Typed on my phone, October 18th]

One night this week, I met up with a good friend. It wasn't meant to be anything extraordinary, yet I feel like a different person since. I can't help but write about it, for fear it may get lost...

My husband was out of town for a concert. My slumber party plans fell through (;)) and I was lonely and couldn't just go to sleep. So I actually did something that has come to be reserved for date nights and family events—I got a babysitter. The fact that I got a babysitter for the simple pleasure of seeing a friend is unique, since normally I'd never "invest" in nights for friends, rather make sure my husband can be home to guard the snoring kids.

It's been a while since I've had some good face-to-face, in depth conversation with a good friend. Life is so busy lately, and my mind and body are so consumed with the every day that I have forgotten the luxury of heart-to-hearts with an old friend.

How sweet it is!
To meet up with a friend in a dimly lit restaurant. She gets a beer. Me, a salad and smoothie. We jump right in. Everyone needs a friend that can ask "How are you?" and you can actually answer honestly. A friend whom you can actually say things like "I could be happier" and "I'm spread too thin" and "I'm really not that cool."

The kind of friend with whom it feels like you're shooting the breeze yet the conversation is so rich and meaningful that you just gotta pull out a pen and find an old receipt with which to record the epiphanies and really, the entire moment.

I could get into everything we spoke about—marriage, expectations, inspiration, personal critiques, our changes, our future, the ingredients to happiness...but that's not the point.

Because of how rewarding and nurturing this simple date was for me, I feel motivated to encourage my fellow ladies and mamas to call up a friend and arrange some face-time. Out of the house. No kids. No agenda. No curfew. Get lost in conversation. Just because.

On our way home, we rolled the windows down and turned the heat up. My favorite combo. It reminded me of late Seattle nights with my friends, circling the lake blasting oldies. Except this time we were playing my husband's album. I finally got to listen to it as a random person, just enjoying it blasting...not breaking it apart and analyzing it like we usually do when my husband's in the driver's seat. I knew it was good. 'm his biggest fan. But wow. It is goooooood!

I dropped off my friend. But I didn't want to go home. So there I was, just circling Crown Heights like a girl who just got her license, pushing my curfew.

When was the last time you did that?

When was the last time you ignored the ticking bomb of the babysitter, didn't feel rushed, didn't feel tied down...instead, vulnerable to your conversation with a good friend, open to the night, open to getting inspired just when you started to think it impossible.

We all need a bit of freedom. A little runaway. Some good connecting that is a tiny reminder of that soulful, deep person underneath who wants to be heard over house chores and bath time and crying and diapers and—you get the idea. Luckily for us women, this escape can be found in the simple company of a close pal.

Share this post with a friend and make a date. Meet up. Open up. And take the long way home.

3 LadyMama voices:

Rivki @ Life in the Married Lane said... [Reply to comment]

Good for you! I also don't take enough time for myself, but I think it's SO necessary for mommies to do it, you know, to avoid burnout and all that.

chanalesings said... [Reply to comment]

Love this post. You write so beautifully!

Fashion-isha said... [Reply to comment]

Mimi! I'm so glad you did that. I couldn't live without my friends...as a matter of fact we're having a 'chill night' tonight (wish you lived close by I'd invite you!) We get married, have babies...do all the things we dream of, but somehow life is never perfect and being able to truly share our innermost feelings with true friends is so therapeutic...it's a MUST!! Do it often!