Becky's Bottom Line
By Becky Brownstein
Stress. Something That Really Extra Specially Sucks. Stress. I carry my stress in my neck and shoulders. At the end of a stressful day I feel like I'm lugging around packages of super sized heavy weights around my neck and shoulders. I wind up with a massive headache and a bunch of kids all wanting to be be cleaned and fed. Don’t they realize I am stressed?!
Sometimes it feels like I'm the only stressed out person there is (I know I’m not).
Sometimes when I go to the grocery store the check out lady gets all perky, asking me what I make with avocados and why do I need so many mangos. I want to lean real close to her, let her catch a whiff of what I ate for breakfast and scream in her face “DO I LOOK LIKE I WANT TO CHAT RIGHT NOW WITH YOU, MA’AM!? But I don’t let it out. That would be mean.
Dealing with my kids when I have so much on my mind is the hardest part of parenting, at least for me. My mind is swirling with so many issues as I prepare snacks and try to tidy up. I get into a zone and go about my chores on auto pilot. My zone gets interrupted so many times I feel like screaming at everyone. Not being able to think in one straight line of thought is so aggravating. It’s like being woken up right before your legs jump into sleep. It’s like when your mouth is watering for that first lick of ice cream only to watch it fall off the cone and go splat on the floor. It adds more weight to my already heavy amount of work in taking care of a family. The struggle to switch off my auto pilot and focus on my kids and their needs is a huge challenge.
What makes stress even more stressful is when there is absolutely nothing that you can do about it. It’s a situation that is not under your control. You can psycho analyze that thought with needing control or whatever. But the fact is, when something is NOT under your control, IT’S MORE STRESSFUL! So. In an attempt to De-stress about the things that I have no control over I try and focus on my main duties. My family.
My family needs me. I might be stressed out about something that makes me want to tear my hair out and scream at random strangers, but that stress-er that is getting to me so badly will pass. My family won’t. My body can turn into one big bouldered knot that gives me headaches and back aches, but that’s only because I let that stress-er get that far into me. It’s my own fault. Stress is very very tough. But if it’s something out of my control and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it, I have got to let it go. It doesn’t make sense for me to ruin the day/week/year/lifetime for my family because I am not able to see past decisions that are not my own.
Bottom line is: If I want to torture myself for things that are completely out of my control, I have to live with the consequences (backaches, headaches, neck pain, short temper, neighbors dogs deliberately pooping on my lawn). My kids shouldn't have to suffer for my choice to carry it all. My husband on the other hand..