Chaya Kurtz became an instant celebrity yesterday when she published an article entitled "
What Women's Media Needs to Know about Chassidic Women," a say-it-like-it-is account of all that is misunderstood and ultimately "awesome" about being a Chassidic woman. Here she responds to accusations that she whitewashed issues in the Chassidic community and also gives honest advice on what Jewish women can do to experience Judaism happily and withstand the "obnoxiousness" of the outside world.
As a Chassidic-and-proud woman, I felt "Bravo!" when I read Chaya's article. Of course, I have more thoughts about this complex topic, which I will be posting later today.
Thank you Chaya for heeding the responsibility of your article and taking the time to answer my questions! <3,
Mimi
(Photo provided by Chaya Kurtz. Photo credit to Shneur Menaker/David Zimmand)
AN INTERVIEW WITH CHAYA KURTZ
The Chassidic woman who wants you to know she is not oppressed
If you could put it in one sentence, what was the main message you wanted to convey with your article?
Criticizing all of Orthodox Judaism based on liberal bias is bad for the Jews; we (especially the women) are not what "the media" thinks we are.
Were you surprised with how your piece seemed to have struck a chord? Why do you think it went so viral?
Yes, I am surprised. I think it went viral because it is different. I work in web publishing and I know that content that is successful (meaning sharable) has to offer something new and different. It also has to be worded/presented in a way that is entertaining. I know that I am an entertaining writer. What I find really interesting is despite the anti-internet rally, so many non-Lubavitch religious Jews read this article and commented on it. That, I think, really speaks to their personal agency. These people are still sharing content and reading content on the Internet.
How would you respond to accusations that you whitewashed a lot of issues in the Chassidic community?
Why does every article about Chassidic/Orthodox Judaism need to be about the bad stuff? I think people are used to reading the bad stuff. You know what? For many people, our lives are fulfilling and not bad at all. It's about time that some positive words get spoken about the positive aspects of this lifestyle. I didn't sit down to write about the shady underbelly of Crown Heights. There are plenty of bloggers who already do that. I told the truth as I experience it, and as many women I know experience it.
Can you think of any areas of Chassidic life that many women do experience in a "imprisoned" way?
What does it mean to be imprisoned? When it is all rules and no joy. When you have the restrictions but none of the pleasure of learning and feeling connected to G-d. But if things are positive in your home and you are working on yourself and connecting to G-d as best you can, then this lifestyle feels great and not limiting.
Do you think that all Chassidic woman are attracted to beards? How do you reconcile the possibility that some don't with the fact that they don't always have a choice?
How is it possible that there is a "shidduch (matchmaking) crisis" when you claim that women don't have a choice? I say this humorously, but I also mean it: First the buzz was that there is too much choice in shidduchim and therefore a "shidduch crisis." Now the buzz is that women are being forced into marriage. Also, not all religious guys have beards. Many trim their beards. Many shave their faces with electric razors. Beards are not ubiquitous. They are stereotypical, but there are plenty of guys who trim their beards.
What can/should a Chassidic woman do if she is not experiencing Judaism as beautifully as you describe?
The idea is joy. Without it, the yoke of heaven feels pretty heavy. Start at home. If your home is a place of kindness, happiness, Torah, singing and good food, you'll withstand the obnoxiousness of the outside world a lot better. I acknowledge that there is nastiness and harshness in some communities. Unfortunately, our communities are tainted by some nasty influences. Happiness starts at home. The home is the basis of Jewish life. Make your home a kindness-only zone; learn some Torah every day; talk to Hashem. They call it avoda ("service") because it takes effort. Nobody is going to take charge of your happiness except for you.
There are a lot of "gross" mikvahs, some in the heart of Chassidic communities. What do we do about that?
Those are mostly for men. Women's mikvahs tend to be nicer. I think if the mikvahs are underfunded and not well cared for, it would behoove the communities to raise money to improve the mikvahs. The commandment of mikvah is so crucial to Jewish family life. It should be done in a beautified way. An inspiring example of this is the Chabad of Alpharetta, GA. They prioritized building a beautiful mikvah over having a beautiful shul. I mean their shul is nice and is a wonderful place, but it is a temporary building. What got the permanent building was their mikvah, which is gorgeous. I would love to see more communities follow their lead.
Your thoughts on Deborah Feldman?
She is a talented writer. She writes in a compelling way. I think she has a great career ahead of her.
In retrospect, is there anything else you wish you would have included in the article?
I think I would have identified myself as a Lubavitch Baal Teshuva (person who has "returned" to Judaism). It would have strengthened my argument. I chose this lifestyle and even though I sometimes feel pulled by the "old world," I stick with it. The idea that there are people who actually choose to become religious and are not "forced" into it by their parents could have added some juice to what I said. Also, the biggest criticism of the piece was that I did not identify myself as a Lubavitch BT. I hear that it needed to be stated, although pretty much everybody figured it out anyway.
Why do you think there is so much recent public/media interest in Orthodox Jews?
When has there not been? The rest of the world finds us fascinating. Anything fascinating generates clicks and page views. People love to hate Jews. So file a sensational story about Jews, and it is going to sell. This is a very old story.
How do you think the world will finally come to understand Judaism?
You want an honest answer? When Moshiach comes, they are going to understand. Until then, I think we have the same old battle we've always been fighting.
What do you see in your future as a voice on Jewish women's issues?
I have an odd place of having a degree in Women's Studies, a career as an editor and I am also a Lubavitcher. I have a very critical perspective on gender. It took a lot for me to shift the way I look at things from Western feminism to a Torah perspective. I think I'd like to write longer, more in-depth articles on the subject. This piece was just a blog post. You can't fit the whole megilla into 700 words. I think at this point it would be worthwhile for me to invest some time in writing something more substantial.
Any closing thoughts?
I love Jews. I love Mitzvoth. I love Torah. I hope that people will see that there is freedom inside of Torah. Now the challenge is actually living Torah. But Hashem doesn't ask of us anything that we can't do.
