Thursday, January 20, 2011

MimList: 10 Things I Recently Did That I Excused With "I'm Pregnant!'

By Mimi Hecht

10 Things I Recently Did That I Excused with "I'm Pregnant!"

I hate to be a complain freak, or irrational, or mindless or stubborn. But, alas, I'm pregnant. Now isn't that an excuse for everything? Here are my latest excuses - true happenings from a second-time-expecting, constantly-excusing and totally pregnant-brained LadyMama. 

1. I took my heels off and walked around without shoes at my brothers fancy engagement party. Ouch! I'm pregnant! 

2. I finished most of the Belgium waffle I was meant to share with four other people. I'm pregnant! And embarrassed. 

3. I went to bed at 9:30. I'm pregnant! Or aging. Okay, both. 

4. I tried on a diamond ring at a Jeweler and was walking out wearing it until someone reminded me. I'm so sorry, I'm pregnant! 

5. I didn't wear a coat when I went out in freezing weather. Don't look at me like that! I'm pregnant and overheating! 

6. I refused to carry my own child. I was with my mother and brother, who happily obliged. I'm pregnant! I'm carrying enough! 

7. I left a family party early without spending time to say goodbye to everyone. I'm pregnant, give me a break! Just get me home! 

8.  I dropped something and made someone else pick it up. Okay, change that sentence to the more active, "I drop things and make people pick it up." Like, all the time. Since entering the seventh month. I'm pregnant, can't you see?! 

9. I tried on something out of the dressing room. And I don't mean a pair of sunglasses. I mean a dress. I'm pregnant and not going in there! Hello! Claustrophobia! 

10. I wore a ridiculous amount of makeup to meet a friend for coffee. Do you even know what it takes to look good and refreshed these days? I'm pregnant! 

If you listen to the above circumstances, the word "pregnant" can be interchanged with "Uncomfortable," "Fat," "Tired," "Scatterbrained" and even, well, "Ugly." Don't you so want to be pregnant now? Ha! But the truth is, the wonderful world of pregnancy truly does entirely consume all facets of our emotional, mental and spiritual being. The least we deserve is to be able to use it as an excuse for all sorts of completely abnormal and utterly inexcusable behavior. 

3 LadyMama voices:

chanale said... [Reply to comment]

LOL me too.. all the time ;)

Anonymous said... [Reply to comment]

And here I was getting excited about being pregnant've just reminded me of the bad stuff.and to add: the back pain, labour pain, looking in the mirror pain. . aaaaahhhhh...but iys all worth it when you feel those kicks and bumps from inside!

Anonymous said... [Reply to comment]

I love love love being pregnant ;) Its the only time Ill pose for a picture.. and ask you to take pictures... I feel sooo beautifulllll and wearrr briiggght coloors... I sing and smile stupidly all those hormones
As for backache.. please please please start doing yoga , not even pilates.. just yoga and all backaches will forever vanish ( btw all I lost two dress sizes doing yoga after preg.. not a pound, but 2 sizes....)
Smiling at everyone and being soo happy is what made ppl open doors for me I think, and carry things and bring me goodies from the dessert table even tho I didnt ask and tell me to eat cos I 'need' it?? LOL
As for makeup.. t beautiful glow doesnt need it.. just a touch of gloss and mascara to coat your winking lashes ;)