Wednesday, January 5, 2011

My Ten Perpetual States

By Mimi Hecht 
My 10 Perpetual States  

Lately I'm realizing that my role as mother keeps me in a rats-wheel of sorts - all the things that make up my day and mind can feel pretty constant, never-ending. 

Here's my current top ten. They are bound to change over time (please!), but for the time being I find myself in the rather perpetual state of...

1. Washing sippy cups. Sippy cups are a relatively new chapter for us, but I'm already waiting for them to invent self-cleaning ones (that first locate them, of course.) Or maybe even a version that keeps the juice so fresh that you can feel totally safe letting your child sip from it for eternity. I believe this could really save the planet. 

2. Cutting nails. Especially now that he has this bad habit of scratching, I can't tolerate one hour with even one of my son's nails slightly beyond its bed. So I have basically turned into a manicurist. Minus the fun parts. Or the tip. 

3. Cleaning the high-chair. At what point do you just give up and start believing that the glued-on cheerios are actually a part of the high-chair's style? I'm very close to that point. Oh, you like my high-chair? Thanks! It's a new line from the makers of Coco Puffs! 

4. Bending over. Now that my kid walks, I should start permanently crawling on all fours. That way I wouldn't have to grunt every single time - about 1,000,629 times a day! - that I have to bend over to pick up a chocking hazard, spilled food or a rolling ball. 

5. Looking for my phone. If you call me and I don't answer, it could only be two reasons: my phone is on silent from the night and I don't hear it, or my son is currently using it to handle his very important business calls. With both options, my phone ends up stranded somewhere, impossible to locate. Finding it combines nicely with Perpetual State #4, as I roam my floors, squinting as I search for the blinking rescue lights of my now-dying Blackberry. 

6. Praying. I admit to not even opening a prayerbook on most days. And yet, motherhood has inspired constant prayer from my lips. I pray that he sleeps. I pray that he eats. I even pray while holding down my son, about to undo the velcro from a smelly diaper: "G-d, please, let this be a small one." But of course, I pray so much that he eats so....it's never a small one. 

7. Wiping a face. My face, his face; we're both a mess, always. Mucus. Crumbs. Tears. I'm not saying what's on who. Sometimes it's my own tears on my own face. Sometimes it's his mucus on my face. It's always crumbs on both our faces. But mostly, it's something completely unidentifiable on his face. And it's not coming off. 

8. Needing to catch up with a friend. I constantly have a friend on my mind that I am dire need of a coffee date with (I am also in dire need of that coffee). Most of these friends are busy mothers themselves, so, naturally, it's very easy to push off getting together. When I do get to meet up with a friend and cross her off my list (for a short while, at least), I get a text from someone else I forgot about: "We MUST get together, it's been AGES!" Pathetically, I'm thinking, "I just saw you last month. Trust me, dear, that is not ages. Now get in line." 

9. Missing my mother and sister. If you're one of those lucky women who live near the supportive feminine figures in your family, well, I hate you. Okay, wait, that's harsh. I'm just ridiculously jealous. Thankfully, my mother and sister visit a lot, but it's never enough. Every single day, I live with the imagination of how amazing it would be to be with each other day in and day out. Meanwhile, G-d bless video chat. 

10. Needing clothing. When will I ever be able to say "I have the clothes I need"? I was dating my husband over two years ago the last time I felt that way. Now, I never seem to have anything to wear. My body is changing. The season is changing. My style is changing. My wardrobe, alas, is lagging behind. And for the record, yes, I actually used to have a sense of style! Before all these constant things took over my truly perpetual, but completely blessed life.

8 LadyMama voices:

sgr said... [Reply to comment]

mimi I love it,couldn't have said it better myself and I am a mom of many TG!

Menucha said... [Reply to comment]

mimi, stop filling those sippy cups with juice, woman! i hate washing all the sippy cup compartments - we graduated to water only...a blessing. i wash them once a week, and just wash the spout and outside daily. savior.

Mimi Hecht said... [Reply to comment]

Thanks, SGR!

Menucha, you're so right...last time I tried doing only water it did NOT go over well. Now I literally put just a splash of juice in mostly water and he loves it but I think I'm going to take your encouragement and try again! Especially considering my perpetual state :)

But wait a second, my kid is younger than Freida...I feel like he needs that juice :( No...?

Menucha said... [Reply to comment]

nah, we never did juice. I used to put milk in when i wanted to give her extra calories... I can't think of why he'd need juice - definitely doesn't need it enough to make yourself crazy with those cups. anyways, just makes 'em used to sweet things, and then they stop liking the taste of good ol' water!
you should do whatever you can to make things as easy as possible for yourself...!!

Rivki said... [Reply to comment]

Ah, so true! We had a sippy cup trauma where there was milk in the cup and it was LOST for WEEKS. It was not so pleasant when we found it...we got a new one.

I saved the high chair for when my cleaning help came. Let them scrub! I also found a nice plastic mat to put on the ground to save my floors (somewhat).

Sarah said... [Reply to comment]

It's great. Definitely can relate to missing the feminine figures in my life, just to spend time with them...to laugh...exchange books...and maybe, just maybe shopping with them for those ever elusive, well-fitting, fashionable clothes!

Dini said... [Reply to comment]

Hi Mimi - just jumping in on your juice/water discussion: Nutritionists etc recommend not to give your babies/children juice at all. Very un-American I know - but its nowhere near as healthy as people think - its actually the oppoosite. High in sugar-albeit natural sugars, and all the fibres of the fruit etc have been 'juiced out of them'.Its apparantly a leading factor/cause in childhood and future obesity. And especially do not give juice before bedtime as the sugar stays on the teeth and rots them!

My daughter is about the same age as yours and I NEVER gave her juice- just water and she loves her water!

Mimi Hecht said... [Reply to comment]

I stopped giving him a bottle at around a year. Stopped formula. I think there's something about giving a little taste. It's literally just a splash, and he certainly doesn't go to bed with it. We even brush our teeth!

But heard on all accounts. Been giving lots of plain water lately. And he actually couldn't seem to care less...